Friday Night Screening: Teeth 2007

Teeth

The return of the killer snatch

Come on…?! Another one??Again with the killer vaginas?

Yes, it would seem there aren’t enough movies to scare us to death about the female genitals, after “Killer Pussy”, someone thought it would be a great idea to get an American version over the sea, that guy would be Mitchell Lichtenstein and said movie would be no other that the 2007 "Teeth", because F8ck it, there can never be enough movies about killer vaginas.

Although, unlike it’s Japanese cousin “Killer Pussy”, which was a straight up goofy comedy soft core porno ( see my review on that infamous little mess here), I can give “Teeth” the credit for actually trying to tell a good story, despite the fact that it’s at its hearth still somewhat of a comedy

The story revolve around Dawn, a nice little high school girl with somewhat of an unusual problem.

She has vowed abstinence with her group of Glee rejects, oh, and her snatch has a nasty case of the munchies, and given that the damn thing has a pretty good set of teeth, I’m fairly certain this movie’s gonna get interesting.

Why does she have a set of razor sharp teeth in her privates? It’s never really explained, although the constant shots of the huge nuclear reactors behind her house might mean something, who knows?

So Dawn goes on with her poor little abstinent life with constant temptations and advances from her creepy half-brother. Yes, it seems the premise is not the only thing that Teeth shares with its predecessor, they also have a character in common, seems that Creeper from killer pussy has a long lost brother in America, who knew? Not kidding, they’re practically the same guys character-wise, except that we spend more time with the brother to realize how much of a d8ck he is.

So, personal thoughts on this movie? Surprisingly I liked it. Yeah, go figure, me liking a movie about killer genitals, who knew?

But seriously, if you can put the ridiculousness of the premise behind you, you’ll find a pretty subtle and good comedy/horror. The pace was pretty good, except for the first few scenes that talked about god and purity and bla bla bla, we’ll get to that later, but for the rest, pretty good.

The characters were far less two-dimensional that I expected and had actually emotions and were able to emote them without having it feeling forced. A scene where the acting and the dialogue really amazed me was in the third act of the movie, after the father and the son had a fight and end up talking, the tension and the dialogue were there, and it is a hearth touching scene where the brother, instead of being a major d8ck like usual, actually opens up despite being in utter and complete control of the situation, and we get a creepy and honest revelation to why his character is so tormented inside. It’s pretty amazing if a movie can make me feel sorry, even for a microsecond, for such a despicable and cruel character as American Creeper.

But for all the good this movie does in the second and third act, my god was the first one a drag.

Preachy as hell, just enough to make you wonder whether they were parodying the whole ‘purity ring’ and all that religious nonsense or if they were serious. Here the thing though: I don’t have a problem with people who want to wait until the wedding to give in, hell, if it makes them happy, go for it, see if I care. However, this whole purity ring campaign bullcr8p and the religious aspect just manage to press the wrong buttons with me. And throughout the entire movie, Dawn never seems to get rid of her anti sex t-shirt, now granted, it’s pretty ironic given her condition. But the first act doesn’t focus on that how so ever. So it’s pretty easy to forget the whole ‘Killer in the pants’ thing and just watch two hyper religious teens giving each other lovely eyes and talking about how awesome god is and how evil sex is, which really drags on and on and on and on…

Thankfully the accidental castrations break in like trumpets to a fanfare to welcome the second act, but until then, useless teenage drama, the worse kind. What I’m trying to say with this, is that being abstinent and believing in god is like having a d8ck, it’s great to have one and it’s great to be proud of it, but please, don’t shove it in our face, k?

The editing is also really weird, I know it’s a weird thing to bring up in a movie about a killer box, but it was one of those few things that really bugged me with this movie. Some scenes would go nowhere and characters would show up at places at random without any explanations.

But with all this aside, great movie, although it could have been a little less graphic on the castrations in my opinion, I’ve seen BME Pain Olympics, and I must say that Teeth wasn’t far off. Pretty painful to watch at some points even, might I add (for a guy).

"Killer pussy" 's creeper's long lost brother

So here’s the big question, which is better? “Teeth” or “Killer Pussy”?

Well “Teeth” is a ok movie that I genuinely enjoyed about a girl trying to find a way to overcome her problem, “Killer pussy” was bat sh8t insane and had me laughing my ass off for all the wrong reasons.

So which is better? Teeth. Which is funnier? “Killer pussy”. Pick your poison. All I’m afraid of is when the darn things will learn to talk, now THAT will be terrifying…(Obvious foreshadowing is obvious)

Things I’ve learned from “Teeth”:

- America is weird as f8ck

- I never want to be a gynecologist, it’s like the ‘Killer vagina movie’ equivalent to a black guy in a horror movie…

- Both Japanese and American creepers got the same resolutions in both movie…weird

- The line between being a hero and being a d8ck is very thin.

Personal rating:

6.5/10

Critical rating:

5.8/10

Bride of Chucky (1998)

Bride of Chucky 

IMDB rate: 5,2

Genre: Slasher, Comedic

To be honest, Bride of Chucky was the very first Chucky movie I've ever seen. Not so strange since I was not even born when the first three came out. For me this was how Chucky looked like but of course, at that time I had not seen Child's Play yet. I think Bride of Chucky is a funny movie. Not really scary but it's a nice movie to watch. It's not really good but for a comedic movie I think it's go-able (is that even a word?). Anyway, since I saw the first Child's Play movie I of course realized that that is the real Chucky and I liked Child's Play a lot more than Bride of Chucky. 

Serial killer Charles Lee Ray is back! This time his girlfriend Tiffany has revived him, once again in the form of the popular "Chucky" doll. Shortly after the "happy" couples reunion, Chucky kills her and brings her back in the form of a girl's bridal doll. The two then embark on a killing spree en route to dig up Ray's corpse, which was buried with a Satanic voodoo charm capable of bringing back the dead.

First of all, I've always liked the music in the Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky movies. It's very fitting for the movie I think. I also like the comedic twist on Chucky, you learn a lot more about his personality. Even though the movie is not very good I like watching it. I must admit though that I have seen the movie too much, so that's why I don't really enjoy it anymore. I do remember that I loved it the first time I watched it, mainly because I was terrified of dolls and a combination of comedy and something terrifying is kinda cool I guess. I'm not a big fan of Seed of Chucky though, it's not funny or scary and the Glen/Glenda doll is kinda lame. 

I like the references to other horror movies, Hellraiser, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and every other horror legend can be found somehow in this movie. I also liked Jennifer Tilly as Tiffany, her voice is annoying but also has something seducing. I don't know. She's not a very good actress but it's not very bothering in this movie, since it's not a very serious movie. 

I don't mind Chucky's look in the movie, it's very believable since the guy has been blown up/cut up or whatever for a million times already so it's logical he looks like this. Also, it gives him a tough look. I do prefer his normal look though. 

I think Bride of Chucky is a fun movie. but don't compare it to the Child's Play movies. It's definitely different. I think not everybody will like this movie. It's definitely not a good movie, but it can be enjoyable to watch.

My personal rate: 6/10

Friday Night Screening: Killer Pussy 2004

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The Pyramid (2014)

The Pyramid

IMDB rate: 4,7
Genre: Found-Footage, Survival
Starring: Ashley Hinshaw, Denis O'Hare, James Buckley

The Pyramid... well I actually was prepared for this one to be bad. Not only because I read some reviews about it explaining exactly how terrible it was, I actually didn't expect anything else after reading the summary:

A team of U.S. archaeologists unearths an ancient pyramid buried deep beneath the Egyptian desert. As they search the pyramid's depths, they become hopelessly lost in it's dark and endless catacombs. Searching for a way out, they become desperate to seek daylight again. They come to realize that they aren't just trapped, they are being hunted.

Why did I still watch it? First of all, I love stories about Ancient Egypt and the pyramids and stuff, second of all movies like these always give plenty of material to write about, also I haven't seen any horror movies about Ancient Egypt before so I gave this movie a shot!

People call this a found-footage (or mockumentary) movie, but to be honest that's hardly true. The movie starts out as one indeed, but for some reason it fails to keep pursuing that perspective. In fact, one second the movie is filmed with their camera, the next shot however is one from an angle that they couldn't have possibly filmed, and the shot after that turns back to their own camera again. It's kinda annoying after awhile and I think it's one of the biggest flaws in this movie. Just make a choice and choose a perspective, either one would've been fine, but just not both. A movie which combined these two perspectives well was [REC]3, where the beginning was filmed with a hand-camera and then there's a very smooth transition between that and the regular camera. Perhaps that would've been a better choice for The Pyramid as well.

The Pyramid is a very cliche movie actually, every time something was going to happen I just knew that that particular thing would happen in a few seconds. For example (spoiler!) when the tunnel to the pyramid opens, we just knew that something would hurt one or two people. It happened. When the woman started to climb to tunnel, you just knew she was going to be attacked and fall down. It was all way too obvious unfortunately. Another different sort of cliche that bothered me is the 'all men are dumb, but this strong woman will survive' cliche. I don't know but it seems some sort of new hype where this needs to keep happening.

I was actually surprised to see Denis O'Hare (American Horror Story, Dallas Buyers Club) in this movie. He's not a bad actor in my opinion so I based my tiny bit of hopes on him. Unfortunately, even he couldn't make this right again. His acting was fine though compared to the other ones, it was purely how bad the script was that made it all seem so terrible. The characters are very unlikable, their dialogues are unrealistic and everything seemed very staged. Also, the camera-guy only making witty comments is getting a bit boring as well.

This movie reminded me a bit of As Above, So Below, which wasn't such a bad movie actually compared to The Pyramid. I think the Pyramid could've been more enjoyable with a better script and some consistency in the filming style. The idea of the 'monsters' inside the Pyramid aren't too bad, they don't look too bad either, it's just that it gives a weird twist to the story itself. I wouldn't recommend wasting your time on this movie, although it is fun to see a horror movie, found footage style, that includes Ancient Egypt.

My rate: 4/10

Teeth (2007)

Teeth

IMDB rate: 5,6

Genre: Comedic, Monster

Because Loan can't post something today I decided to pick one of the weird movies and post it for him, so you won't have to miss out the Friday-weirdness-review-day ;D.

Wow, some weird movie. I think this might make some guys frightened for girls huh?

I quite enjoyed watching this movie. It's funny, ridiculous and somehow frightening. That's the kind of movie that I like.

I don't really get why the rating is that low because it's really not a movie that you need to take seriously. Lighten up, Teeth is quite an enjoyable movie.

Dawn grows up in the shadow of a nuclear power plant. In high school, while her biology class studies evolution, she realizes she may have a hidden curse, an "adaption." She lives with her mom, step-father, and hard-edged step-brother. She likes Tobey, a guy at school, and he likes her. She takes a pledge to remain chaste until marriage, so they date in groups, watch G-rated films, and don't kiss, but the power of teen hormones is great, so temptation beckons. Dawn has an admirer in Ryan, and when things have an unexpected twist with Tobey, she turns to Ryan for help. Will he be her mythical hero and rescue her? or can she find her way as her own hero, turning the curse into an asset?

I think Teeth is a very funny movie. It's not a movie that's so-bad-it's-good, it's really good. The movie also actually tells a story. It's a movie that's basically about a killer-vagina, how can that ever be good, you ask? Well, that might be quite hard to reach. But, this movie actually does it. It's very subtle humor, but also with a good twist of horror.

The characters are quite believable. Some girl that saves her body for marriage fails miserably because of her teen hormones. Not very strange. Also, guys who have too much hormones, not very strange either. These characters actually have dimension in them, even though it's quite hard to believe.

I think this movie might be quite hard to watch for some guys. I know that some guys even react themselves when they see that someone else gets kicked into his nuts. So imagine what happens when it's all being bitten off in the heat of the moment...

It's pretty disturbing, even though you don't see much of it.

Teeth is quite an original movie. It's a teen-flick with some nastiness in it. When you know the deal about this movie the surprise is a bit gone. From then on it's mainly about a teen girl trying to overcome her problems and casually bites a penis off once in a while.

Now for the guys, here's a fun link for you!

I remember the first time I saw this movie, and I just had one big WTF-moment. I found it a very funny but very weird movie. And to be honest, it still hasn't changed. I do enjoy watching this movie though. It's very original, with decent acting and a good storyline. I definitely recommend watching this movie.

My personal rate: 7,5/10

Dark Skies (2013)

Dark Skies

IMDB rate: 6,3

Genre: Science-Fiction

Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, J.K. Simmons

Finally! Another 2013 movie! I'm finally catching up a bit with all these amazing movies made this year. And believe me, 2013 is a good horror year this far! Normally there is only one good -or reasonable- movie brought out in a year, but this year has brought us a lot more! Well, I won't continue talking about that, because this is only a review about one movie: Dark Skies. I saw the trailer of this movie in the beginning of the year and I've wanted to see it but I never got around watching it. The trailer looked cool, but well, from my experience when a trailer is cool, the movie most likely isn't. So I never really bothered watching it because I assumed it wasn't very good. 

Now, I finally saw it and I must say that I'm quite impressed by it!

As the Barret family's peaceful suburban life is rocked by an escalating series of disturbing events, they come to learn that a terrifying and deadly force is after them.

When I first saw the trailer I expected some sort of haunted house movie, perhaps with ghosts and stuff like that, I had no idea that it was about aliens! I'm not a big fan of Science-fiction movies but like I already said, I quite liked this one. 

Dark Skies is from the same producers as Insidious and Paranormal Activity, I quite liked the first and second PA but I disliked Insidious a lot, but now I've seen Dark Skies I'm convinced that this one is better than either of those movies.  

There are certainly a few elements from those movies in Dark Skies, for example the videocameras in the rooms, waking up in the middle of the night standing in the garden and some more stuff like that, but while it had similar stuff going on, it never looked too much like each other. 

The happenings started out really small, it seemed more like a prank than a treat. When days went by, these pranks turned a lot more serious. I actually got goosebumps while watching it, because there was so much tension in the movie. I loved it! 

We don't get to see these aliens until one of the last scenes. We didn't get a clear look but they looked quite scary from what I could see. In one scene we see one walking behind one of the characters, at first I didn't notice, but when I did... holy shit, I must admit that it did scare me for a second.

The acting is very good. I think Keri Russell is an amazing actress (I loved her so much in August Rush) and I wasn't sure how she would be in a horror movie, but again, she didn't fail to amaze me! I'm not really familiar with Josh Hamilton but he was excellent too. The kids acted reasonable, the little kid was adorable but I wasn't too sure of his acting. The older kid was decent too. 

The only thing that bothered me a lot was the same old horror mistake; people seem to forget that they have lamps in their homes. The alarm goes off, and those people ran downstairs to search the house, IN THE DARK. Some other weird stuff is going on, let's investigate again, IN THE DARK. I'm sorry but are all basic instincts lost when you're scared? Are we suddenly able to see incredibly good in the dark while we're in a rush? I'm sorry but it's so bothering that people in movies don't turn on the lights. 

Overall, I liked this movie quite a bit. It surprised me a lot! I really recommend watching this movie because I thought it was an amazing science-fiction/horror movie. Great acting, great scares and a great story! Honestly, I'm hoping for a sequel because the ending left me frightened!

My personal rate: 8/10

Friday Night Screening: Rabid Grannies 1988

Rabid Grannies

The Belgium grandma massacre

You just know that with a title like this, this one’s gonna get interesting. We’ve seen robo-geisha’s, plenty ‘o brain devouring undead and even killer festivities, but the day we’d be looking at a movie in which two grannies possessed by the goddamn devil go on a rampage was a long time coming.

I actually picked this movie up in my favorite second-hand store filled to the brim with movies right into my alley for two reasons. One was obviously the title, but the second was the name that was shamelessly plastered all over the dvd-case: Iloyd Kaufman. For those living under a rock, or actually go outside and have a life, Kaufman is the mind behind TROMA, a company known for some pretty amazing stuff including ‘Surf nazis must die!’ and ‘The toxic avenger’ (for those who still have no idea what I’m on about, he was the guy that cameo’d in JamesGunns’s ‘Guardian of the Galaxy’). Needless to say I’m a fan, so picking it up I hoped this little gem would turn out to be one of Kaufman’s lovechild.  But as it turned out, ‘Rabid Grannies’ was only distributed by TROMA in the United States, but well, it’s still a pretty entertaining flick despite that.

The story is pretty self-explanatory, a family of unlikable asshats attend to the birthday of their rich grandmothers. Every member of the family, knowing the two sweet old ladies won’t be around for much longer, has one goal and one goal only, getting the best spot on the will. Now that would be awful and despicable enough, if the black sheep of the family, a satanic murderer, didn’t send his own gift in the form of a McGuffin that turns the two grannies into demonic possessed nightmares feeding on flesh. As the limbs start flying around it’s up to the family members to survive and show their true colors, be it cowards, heroes in disguise, awful human beings or soon to be lunch.

I actually like this movie, but seeing as it was distributed by TROMA that shouldn’t surprise anyone. The premise is silly enough  to hold the movie pretty well. It’s the first Belgium horror movie I’ve seen and I gotta say, I like the cut of their jibs. Who knew that the Canada of Europe had a pretty good B-movie camp style. The effects are pretty entertaining as well, some pretty outrageous silly stunts performed at the transformation had me laughing pretty damn hard, and although the quality dropped as the movie went on, I still greatly enjoyed what it had to offer. The fact that the victims were a such an unlikable, backhanded, two-faced bunch made it all the more enjoyable when they got their comeuppance. But here we come to one of my problems with the film, at times it seemed to be just a tad bit too cruel to some of the more likable asshats turned heroes. And there is one scene that took me by surprise and I believe they might have crossed the line by a mile on that one. If you’ve seen the movie you probably know what scene I’m talking about, but in case you haven’t, let’s just say the movie went from crazy fun pool party to little jimmy drowned at the bottom cuz the lifeguard was getting his pole polished behind the parking lot by the one legged hooker. There are lines you don’t cross unless you’re willing to approached it with some decency and maturity.

Another thing that bugged me was the non-existent clarity on the grannies’ powers. They are both possessed by demons, so their powers are pretty much changing reality to their wishes. So in theory the movie should be over in less than ten minutes, the only weakness they seemed to have is that the chapel and other houses of god were off-limits.  For the rest, they can pretty much do anything they want. With Freddy Kreuger for example, he can control the reality to his whims but only in the dream world, and only if you’re scared enough of him, otherwise he doesn’t have enough power, so it’s logical for him to toy with his victims to accumulate the fear needed to kill them off, and also the fact that he gets off on that sh*t but that’s a story for another therapy session. The two grannies in this movie seem to do it for the lulz and go with a pretty lazy aptitude about the whole thing. Leading to their unavoidable demise portraying them as kind of a duo of dumbasses.

This movie is entertaining and will leave you with a smile on your face if you have the same kind of humor as me. Apart from one scene and a few minor details I’d say, give it a watch, it ain’t no masterpiece but it’s pretty damn fun.

 Things I've learned from "Rabid Grannies"

- Damn Grandma, u scary

- Hearing the French speaking actors trying to spew English lines was probably one of the more entertain things about this flick.

- It's in moments like these that you realise you're screwed if your priest isn't the kung fu badass from Braindead/Dead-Alive

Personal rating: 6,5

Critical rating: 5

The Exorcist (1973)

The Exorcist

IMDB rate: 8,0

Genre: Possession

Starring: Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Linda Blair

This hasn't been the first time that I watched The Exorcist, I've actually watched it quite a few times already.. difference is, the previous times I didn't watch it sober :). The first time I watched The Exorcist I watched it because my dad thought it was the most frightening movie he'd ever seen, although he was quite young back then. Anyway, a great reason for me to watch it, because what can be more scary than a movie of which your dads afraid of? 

I wasn't scared when I watched The Exorcist for the first time, simply because I grew up in a time where these movies were nothing compared to what I was used to. This doesn't change the fact though that The Exorcist was a great movie to watch. I must admit though that while watching The Exorcist for the first time I drank quite a bit of alcohol, making it a slightly laughable experience when Regan walks down the stairs upside down.

I watched the extended version of the movie, meaning there are a few added scenes where you can see the demon flash by. The spider walk scene is also added in this version. The spider walk scene is definitely a great addition to the movie, the only problem with it was that the scene seemed unfinished after that. There's no reaction about it whatsoever and for some reason it's the only scene where she's out of her room. The strange part of this is that she is tied to the bed the entire time, but that moment she suddenly wasn't anymore, the moment after that she was tied to the bed again. What I did like in the extended version was the statue (?) of the demon slowly appearing besides the door, it gave a very creepy vibe.

What I admire a lot about this movie is the make-up, it's pretty scary to see a little girl that messed up. What's making this more scary is the voice. The voice is not Linda Blair's own voice, but I actually hardly noticed since it's synchronized pretty good. Linda Blair plays the young Regan incredibly well. What's of course the best thing about this movie is it's dialogue, which I can imagine was pretty shocking at that time. "Your mother sucks cock in hell" is just one of these memorable quotes. Thinking that all these bizarre scenes were acted by a 12 year old makes it even more amazing.

The Exorcist is definitely not a flawless movie, it has quite a few continuity errors actually. Doesn't change the fact that it's a brilliant movie to watch, and I somewhat wish I could be there in 1973 when it was first released to feel the true terror of this movie. I think The Exorcist is an excellent movie, perhaps it's not a perfect movie for this time anymore, but I can imagine it was a jewel at the time it was being made. Loved it!

My rate: 8/10

Friday Night Screening: Braindead/Dead-Alive 1992

Braindead / Dead-Alive

No such thing as 'too much gore'

What happens when you mix gore, zombies, Peter Jackson and more gore? The answer: the new-Zeeland movie from 1992 BrainDead (or 'dead-alive' in northern America for legal reason apparently). This movie is without a doubt the goriest movie ever made, and I’m not even kidding. Don’t believe me? Well go judge for yourself, one thing is certain, it won’t be a waste of your time.

The plot resolve around Lionel, a shy young man who lives alone with his mother as only companion. His mother is a bit …well let’s just say she wins the b8tch mother of the year award hands down. She’s the closest thing that resemble everything anyone ever said about their mothers in their angsty teen years. So Lionel finally meets a woman who is obsessed with him because her Voodoo big mamma told her that Lionel will be her soul mate. Of course, shy boy’s mother isn’t quite happy with the idea that her only son is going away with another woman, so she’ll try anything to stop them. What’s that? How can this be the gore mother lode of a movie I promised? Oh trust me, that’s just the beginning. The mother gets bitten by one the ugliest motherf8ing rat that ever roamed the earth and slowly turns into a zombie, that’s when the movie starts getting good. Instead of just killing her, our hero decide to keep her in his basement, and feed her like he used to when she was alive, but of course more people get infected and his basement becomes one big happy pile-up zombie hotel, all that until they finally escape and the gore meter meets it’s much anticipated climax. There is also a sub-plot throughout the movie with Lionel's uncle being a giant A-hole and how he tries to get Lionel's house to sell it or something trough blackmail.

Like I said, its gore at its finest, if Evil Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Re-animator would have a re-re love child, it still would feel like watching the Teletubbies compared to this masterpiece. I mean, how many movies have you heard of that gave airplanes puke-bags to the guests at the cinemas? But the movie can have its flaws for some who don't like waiting and a slow setting of the story in motion. For a zombie movie, it's pretty slow at the beginning. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but it does feel like a romantic comedy at first if you ignore the awesome opening scene where a guy gets chopped to bits. The special effects are pretty sweet too, the rat is animated with stop-motion and the zombies looks awesome and you can tell the makers had a sh8tload of fun coming up with new ideas for the zombies. Oh yeah, and here's another thing that rocks about this movie: in most zombie movies, the Romero rules state that to kill a zombie you either destroy the brain or remove the head. Well, those zombies are more like the ones from Return Of The Living Dead but less smarter. In other words, the zombies are pretty much indestructible, if you cut off a arm it still would try to get you, both the arm and rest of the zombie. There is as example one zombie that gets cut in two at the waist, both the legs and the torso go their own way, and later on the guts goes on without the torso and crawls all over the place strangling people, and that's just one of many example showing how creative the writers got with the undead.

So yeah, if you ever get your hands on this movie, grab a few friends, a puke bag and enjoy, you won't regret it. Good story, awesome effects, great comedy, lovable characters and a ton of gore, good one Peter Jackson.

And here are a few things I’ve learned from this movie:

- How to make zombie soup...oh god why?

- Don't f8ck around with priests, because they (quote): Kicke aaars for tha lhooord!

- Zombies can have babies apparently, and they are a b8tch to baby-sit

- lawnmower strapped to your chest = Epic Carnage

Personal rating: 8/10

Critical rating: 7/10

Oculus (2014)

Oculus

IMDb rate: 6,5
Genre: Supernatural
Starring: Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Rory Cochrane

I actually never really paid a lot of attention to Oculus, because it was one of those hyped-up movies that in many cases fail to amaze. I did have it on my to-watch-list for quite some time though and I finally gave it a watch. I had no idea what Oculus was about at that time, never saw a trailer, didn't read the synopsis either, so you can say I started watching the movie with no expectations at all. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised with Oculus in the end. There were a few confusing parts, but overall it was a very good ghost/supernatural movie.

The twenty-one year-old Timothy Allen Russell is discharged from a mental institution by his psychiatric Dr. Graham completely healed from a childhood trauma. His sister Kaylie welcomes him in the parking area and brings him home. Then she tells that they need to destroy an ancient mirror that she has just bought in an auction. The reluctant Tim follows his sister and has fragmented recollections from his childhood, when his mother Marie buys a mirror for the home office of his father Alan. Kaylie and Tim see a woman with their father in his office and the behaviors of Alan and Marie change, ending in a family tragedy. Kaylie blames the mirror and now she wants to destroy it with Tim. Will they succeed?

The story has a very good build-up, during the movie we get to see fragments of their childhood and their trauma with this specific mirror. Because their past is being told during the entire movie it keeps an interesting perspective on the movie, it keeps it interesting to watch. If it would've been told all in once it would make the main story of the present day kinda boring actually, so did was a great thing to keep people curious.

The power of this mirror is that it can make you see things that aren't there, so it's a great psychological horror movie. This gives a huge uneasy feeling because you never know if anything is really happening or if it's just some game the mirror plays. I must admit that when I noticed this was going to be about a haunted mirror I wasn't too excited about it, but honestly Oculus did a great job making it somewhat scary and original.

The acting is pretty good in Oculus. Karen Gillan (Guardians of the Galaxy, Dr. Who) plays Kaylie and I was quite impressed with her. Already saw her once in Guardians of the Galaxy (for which she shaved all her hair off!) and I think she's going to be a big star sometimes. Brenthon Thwaites (Maleficent, The Giver) plays Kylie's younger brother Tim and he did a great job as well. Most impressive though was their father played by Rory Cochrane (Argo), he played his role as uncaring/distant father extremely well, you could almost feel the tension, amazing.

Oculus was a very surprising good movie. Great acting, good tensive scenes and it's just an exciting watch overall. There was just one thing that I did not get which is why they took so long to attack the mirror, because they knew that the longer they would be with it, the crazier things would get. So that's pretty much my only objection to Oculus. I had a great time watching this movie, and I definitely recommend to watch it as well.

My rate: 8/10

Friday Night Screening: Sexykiller 2008

SexyKiller

Psychotic crazy blonde and zombies, sure, why the hell not?

Imagine watching a police drama, ‘Dawn Of The Dead’ and ‘The Simple Life’ at the same time while reading a Deadpool comic, and all that with a nonstop loop of the song “I’m a Barbie Girl” By Aqua blasting in the background at full volume.

Yup, that’s pretty much the experience of watching ‘Sexy Killer’ in a nutshell.

This little Spanish movie from 2008 was brought to us by Miguel Martí (Don’t worry, you’re not supposed to know who it is).
And damn, why aren’t there more movies like that?

Meet Barbara: a psychotic college airhead that constantly breaks the forth wall by speaking directly into the camera and explain exactly why she is going to murder that one chick for wearing an outfit that she was so gonna maybe buy…ish.

Her life consist of trying out multiple outfits and killing pervs and anyone who annoys her, such as slutty classmates and horny teachers. Unfortunately her less than subtle murders seem to have caught the attention of the police, and two coroners and science students, who have managed to create a machine that can read the mind, even of the early departed. It would be only ironic that one of the two scientist falls in love with our favorite nail-polished sociopath and is mistaken himself by her as a fellow psychopath, with him being unobvious of the whole situation.

Little does Barbara known that the mind reading machine also seems to have some necromantic side effects, and soon, all her previous victims rise from the grave to take revenge and nom on all the brains they come across, and where else to do that but the Halloween fiesta?

What can I say? I loved this movie. Barbara is one of the most entertaining characters I’ve seen in a long time, and her ass kicking skills propels the plot forward at rocket speed, even if sometime the chronology can be confusing. A good chunk of the movie is told by Barbara to a guy she is torturing for running over her poodle ‘Jason’(yes, that’s a reference). She tells him, and thus us as well, how this whole ordeal came to be.

I gotta say, this has to be one of the most colorful dark comedy I’ve seen in a while. Everything to Barbara telling us how to asphyxiate some guy like she was on a cooking program, to a ‘House Of The Dead’ish climax with “The Bird Is The Word” song from family guy playing in the background.

This whole movie reminded me a lot of Suda 51’s ‘Lollypop Chainsaw’, if Julie would be a psychotic b8tch. Colorful and over the top while being self-aware and funny as hell.

There’s also a very “Re-Animator”esk subplot with the love interest and his friend playing around with the possibilities of playing god. The best part is when the love interest accidentally raise the first zombie and is then forced to raise the others in hope he will uncover the identity of their killer, quickly having to explain to his ex-classmates why they are dead. The zombies are very self-consent with what is happening to them and are even able to talk like regular people, for a while…then they just become your everyday rotting corps in search of brains.

The main focus of the first half of this movie is mainly Barbara slaughtering left and right, wondering why Leonardo Dicaprio had to die at the end of ‘Titanic’ while drowning a classmate, and the police trying to uncover the identity of the killer.

The second half is more a epic showdown between Barbara and her revived victims, which opens for more than enough hilarious and kick ass scenes.

The humor overall really reminded me of the likes of “Lesbian Vampire Killers” and even “Shaun Of The Dead” at times, I can’t say I’ve seen many Spanish movies, but if the comedy is as good as in “SexyKiller”, I might have to check it out.

The only downsides I can come up with is that since this movie didn’t do great at the box office, I don’t expect a dubbed version anytime soon. Also the effects are pretty sh8t at times, but that only adds to the B-movie glory that is this great movie. And all is forgiven to a movie that refers to ‘Evil Dead’ in its final act. Although I gotta ask, is she called Barbara as an homage to the main character from the original Zombie movie ‘Night Of The Living Dead’ or am I just overthinking it?

Definitely recommending this one folks, great time guaranteed.

Things I’ve learned from ‘SexyKiller’:

- Zombies make the best BFF’s

- How to lose weight as a psychopath, for example, biting someone’s ear off burns 120 calories

- Chainsaws aren’t as useful as one would think in a zombie outbreak, I mean, it takes around ten minutes to get it to work, at least according to this movie.

- The amount of B-movies references in this movie is too damn high

Personal rating: 8.5/10

Critical rating: 7/10

Honeymoon (2014)

Honeymoon

IMDB rate: 5,6
Genre: Possession
Starring: Rose Leslie, Harry Threadaway

I was actually kinda excited for this movie. The cast was pretty good, the trailer looked awesome and it just seemed like a pretty good movie to me. Unfortunately this was not the case. It actually was a pretty boring movie, it just took way too long for something to happen. After a hour already passed nothing really interesting had happened yet. Sure, there were some mysteries but it was just not tensive at all.

Here is what Honeymoon is about:
Young newlyweds Paul and Bea travel to remote lake country for their honeymoon. Shortly after arriving, Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of the night. As she becomes more distant and her behavior increasingly peculiar, Paul begins to suspect something more sinister than sleepwalking took place in the woods.

The acting was actually pretty decent, Rose Leslie is a cute actress most known for her role as Ygritte in the TV show Game of Thrones (the one who keeps saying "you know nothing Jon Snow!". Harry Threadaway was quite good as well, haven't seen him in many roles besides the few episodes I watched of Penny Dreadful, but I quite liked him. Their chemistry was somewhat convincing, although the romance level in this movie was just too much for me. I saw people complaining that their American accents were horrible, in Harry Threadaway I did not even notice that he was British actually so in my opinion he did a good job. With Rose Leslie though I did not even notice that she was trying an American accent, I just thought her character would be British. Wrong about that one though, so i guess her job on doing a different accent wasn't too great.

The story itself started off good, the mystery of why Bea was one in the night, and what happened to her at that time. I really was curious about what had happened to her, but actually from that moment on the movie became pretty bad. The pacing was too slow, we first get half a hour of romance, sex attempts and stuff like that, then Bea disappears, then she starts acting weird and in the last ten minutes of the movie we somewhat figure out what had happened. The explanation about what happened is not satisfying at all though, it's not complete and it hardly tells what really is going on. And don't read further if you don't want to know this spoiler: but for real, aliens?! Nope, I'm not cool with that at all. Not even sure if they were aliens, but they sure as hell looked a hell of a lot like aliens.

Honeymoon is not a very scary movie, it's not filled with gore or special effects, it's more one of those movies where things are being left to the viewers imagination. In the end there's on scene that's kinda nasty but that's about the only interesting thing that happened. The make-up is quite good I must say, even for a low-budget movie.

Reactions about Honeymoon are pretty mixed, some hated it and some thought it was the best horror movie of the year. Maybe if your into psychological horrors with very slow pacing it might be something for you. Personally I wasn't a big fan of it. The script was pretty bad and there just did not happen a whole lot. I really thought this movie had some potential, but it got kinda messed up with the 'plot-twist' I think. Good acting, good looking make-up, but overall it was a bit a waste of time.

My rate: 5/10

Friday Night Screening: Brainscan 1994

Brainscan

Pre Virtual-Boy of doom

I get the distinctive idea that people in the 90’s saw us gamers as a bunch of psychopaths waiting to snap, then again, here we have “Brainscan”, a flag holder for worried mommies all over the nation blaming anything but their own parental skills for their kids sudden homicidal tendencies.

A movie about a violent video game in the 90’s? my my, this sounds interesting.

Brought to us in 1994, a glorious year for us gorehounds, this little movie tackles the question of how far one is willing to fall to erase the consequences of a remorseless act.

So let’s go back to a time where the SEGA CD was still a ‘thing’ and figure out why video games are apparently the devil incarnated.

Peeping tom extraordinaire sixteen years old Micheal finds time between his voyeurism sessions and chillaxing like a baller with his typical ”far out dude!” bro to try the game everyone is talking about, Brainscan, a game that is played directly with your brain. Unfortunately after having finished the first disc and mission, that involved sneaking into some poor sod’s house and going Norman Bates on his ass, Michael realizes that the game seems to have consequences in the real world, and he finds himself screwed when the police don’t buy his puppy dog eyes alibi. Even worse, a strange entity follows him around calling himself “the trickster” to make his life a living hell and force him to continue playing, acting like Micheal’s conscience forcing him to take care of the witnesses and erase his tracks. All while we witness the poor little Micheal make time to ask the girl next door out and Micheal’s best friend recreate dialogue from ‘Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure’.

As Micheal continues playing and digs his grave deeper and deeper, reality starts to shift as Trickster makes the game more and more difficult and detective Mc-coldface abnormally good intuitions lead him to his murderer.

can't tell if his face says
"Let's play some super smash brawl"
or "Squeal like a little piggy!"

Okay, let’s get this out of the way, I frigging love this movie. Maybe strange seeing as that in my review of “Satan’s little helper” I criticized it for shining such a negative light on gamers. But in this movie the subject is approached in a much more mature angle. Sure Micheal and his friend are obsessed by horror movies simply for the gore and will play any game with blood in it, and above all doesn't even question the idea of playing a game where the main objective is to perform ruthless homicidal acts for the Lulz.

But the real question this movie asks is: how far is someone gonna go if they believe that their acts are without consequence. Which is a really good and interesting subject regarding the human psychology and the sick dark place that lurks in the human creativity.

So do I like the story? Yes, it’s a murder case  with a bit of a supernatural angle and seen from the perspective of the killer. The message is maybe a little too preachy for me, video games are violent and so on, but let’s remember that it was a very difficult time then, and the idea of blaming something new was simpler than looking at the truth. The questions the movie asks are interesting and it’s an entertaining situation to watch our protagonist get out of.

The characters were all right for the most part, the kid that played Micheal did a good job, and the Trickster is damn entertaining to see. He’s the kind of devil you could have a good laugh with and that could kill you the next moment, all while abusing your house with his questionable feeding habits. I’ll admit that the Trickster is probably the main reason why you should watch this movie, a strange sadistic entity that forces you to continue murdering with as leverage the fear of getting caught? What’s not to love?

And off course we are treated to pre-perfection 90’s CGI and some great practical effects.

The CGI is actually pretty interesting, at time it’s your average 90’s lightning effects, but sometime it seems like they add a painted effect to some of the morphing effects on the Trickster, which give a pretty interesting combination of pre CGI and other canvas techniques.

I really recommend this movie, the story’s good and the ending always makes me laugh. For anyone looking for a cheezy 90’s horror/gore movie with a good twist, I promise you won’t be disappointed, if you don’t mind the teenage drama sprinkled here and there.

Thing I’ve learned from “Brainscan”:

-Damn, so SEGA was evil back in the days, who knew, well, apart from those who know about sonic.EXE I guess.

- Didn’t know the Goblin King and the Leprechaun had a kid, good to know he went into the gaming industry, instead of kidnapping babies or murdering one sixth of  the cast of ‘Friends’.

-Man, I want Micheal’s room. Kid’s got a own electronic butler named Igor. All I got as a kid was a pet lizard I had to catch on my own.
-Who else thinks that “horror movie club” is the best idea for a high school since forcing girls into miniskirts?

Personal rating: 8,5/10

Critical rating: 7/10

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Shaun of the Dead

IMDB rate: 8,0

Genre: Comedic, Zombie

Starring: Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, Kate Ashfield

It was about time that I watched one of my favorite movies again: Shaun of the Dead. I absolutely love this movie. It's brilliant, amazing acting, amazing script, great zombies and the movie is incredibly funny. Seriously, I watched this movie so many times already and I'm still not bored of it.

Shaun doesn't have a very good day, so he decides to turn his life around by getting his ex to take him back, but he times it for right in the middle of what may be a zombie apocalypse... But for him, it's an opportunity to show everyone he knows how useful he is by saving them all. All he has to do is survive... And get his ex back.

I think that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are my favorite acting 'couple' ever. I love them even more than Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, which says quite a lot. Individually they are great and talented actors, but together they are just excellent. Loved them together in Hot Fuzz and Paul, and I'm quite sure that The World's End will be awesome too. They just have great chemistry together that really helps understanding their connection together. 

Shaun of the Dead is certainly not a movie for everyone. I think that British humor is quite different from American humor and many people might not like it. I however, love this kind of humor. Shaun of the Dead is not typically a movie for horror lovers, I know plenty of people who don't like horror and loved this movie. For instance, I watched this movie tonight with my parents and they loved it, while they normally hate horror movies. 

The script is very good. It has a bit of comedy, zombies and romance in it, but never too much of one of these themes. The zombies are perfect, you actually have a chance of surviving with these slow ones. Like Simon Pegg himself said: "Death is not an energy drink", and this is of course true. I like zombies this way, this is my idea of how zombies are supposed to be and it's amazing that they felt the same way. Another fun thing, if you look closely you can recognize Chris Martin from Coldplay as a zombie.

My favorite scene is definitely the one where Shaun is walking -hungover- to the local shop to buy some cornetto's. The zombies are being shown very subtle and what's making it even more fun is the fact that it was filmed in one sequence.

All together, Shaun of the Dead is an amazing zombie film. In fact, it's one of the many movies that belong in my favorites list. Amazing acting, very funny people, also a very funny and good story. Brilliant camerawork and not to forget, incredibly good music!

Go watch Shaun of the Dead!

My personal rate: 9/10

Friday Night Screening: Body#19 2007

Body#19

waiter, there's a fetus in my soup...

I've been doing a lot of comedy lately, haven’t I? And although it’s been fun and swell, let’s tear away from this comforting zone to let ourselves be embarked on a terrifying tale.

Actual scary movies are hard to find, believe it or not. And to find one that is both scary and pretty damn good? Yeah…that’s pretty rare.

But here we are, Body#19, released in 2007 by Thai director Paween Purikitpanya. This movie might just be my favorite actual scary horror movie, the first time I saw it, coming across it by accident, I was amazed by the storytelling and twists and turns this masterpiece presented before me. But I’m getting ahead of myself, what’s Body #19, or more commonly known as ‘Body sob 19’ or simply ‘Body’ about?

Chon and his sister, a nurse working at the local hospital, found themselves renting a huge house from an unknown owner. All seems to go well until Chon begins to see questionable things crawling through the house. His sister decides to help him to unearth the mystery behind these strange sightings, but all they find is a name belonging to a woman who used to teach at the hospital. Things go from bad to worse as other people begin to fall prey to this monster that takes the form of a dismembered woman. And telling anything beyond this point would be a waste, because believe me guys, you need to see this movie for yourself.

This movie is incredibly hard to talk about because the plot holds so many mysteries and I really don’t want to spoil the fun for those watching this movie for the first time. You might think you've already got it figured out, the teacher is coming back to take vengeance on all those who wronged her as some sort of curse and Chon just so happens to live in one of the prosecuted future victims house, right? Believe it or not, if you thought something like that, you couldn't be more wrong. This entire movie is a rolled up burrito of mystery and twists till the very last second and you’ll never see them coming.

This movie needs to be seen at least twice to be fully understood, and believe me, the second watch will be a completely new experience. You’ll notice some of the expressions on the characters faces that you at first dismissed as just a little bit off to be a major plot point afterward.

But enough about the magnificent storytelling, how does the movie look? Well, pretty damn amazing, for the most parts. I’ll need to get this out of the way, the ghost/curse/grudge’s face looks…well silly for a lack of better term. Mainly the eyes that seems to be two Ping-Pong balls glued on the actress’s face. But thankfully it’s only visible in a few scenes and only when they use the practical effects, yes believe it or not, the CGI in this movie actually works and looks even better that the practical effects, never thought I’d say that.

But the effects, both practical and computer generated look amazing for such an obscure movie and fit the tone very well.

And is it scary? Well, for once yes, granted it’s not the scariest movie I've ever seen, but it did manage to give me trouble getting some sleep for a few days. That and the overall eerie and confusing tone of the film makes it an experience you won’t forget easily.

Soundtrack wise, there isn't a lot to be said except for one song that is repeated throughout the movie more that I’d cared for, but it does somehow tie in the plot so I’ll make an exception.

Even for its minor flaws, this movie is a must-see for all who can appreciate a good story that’ll keep you guessing and actual scares that work in the movie’s context. I love this movie more and more every time I watch it, and although the first view can be a bit confusing and make the movie seem like a bit of a mess at times, those who will stick with it till the very end will walk out of this movie with a smile on their faces.

Things I've learned from ‘Body#19’:

-Releasing someone from a curse is all about timing.

- Checking under your bed isn't always the safest route.

- Trucks are f8cking crazy.

- they missed a great opportunity in not having one of the museum workers scream “I BE PAKINZ BUTTREFLIES!!”, just saying.

- Also, fetus soup…

Personal rating: 9.8/10

Critical rating: 9/10